Male Pattern Bigfoot

Imagine if Bigfoot or Sasquatch, or the Yeti for that matter, experience some the same kind of problems human men do...

Indeed, I myself am going bald, though I do wish it would just go faster. I'm at that middle stage, where there's hair up there, but not nearly enough to cover things up. I buzz my head every few weeks, but it keeps growing back.

At this rate, it'll take another 10 years for me to go fully bald. I've thought about burning the hair off with some harsh chemical, such as Nair, kerosene, Nads, or such, but that doesn't really seem like such a wise idea. I could end up with a bald, scarred head like say, Anikin Skywalker in ROTJ. Chicks don't dig that.

Maybe I'll just grow out one side, for a really sweet comb-over! I could do it too, as the sides are as thick as ever. Also, I'm fond of my massive sideburn chops, which start looking more and more ridiculous the balder I get.